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Hey look, the internet ruined something else!

Take a break from your standard Batman and Robin gay jokes with Batman slash art based on The Dark Knight staring Heath Ledger and Christian Bale. Personally I’ve been waiting for a ‘Brokeback Batman’ parody for the last 6 months.

‘Why so anal?’

-Johnny Zito

Johnny Zito is a writer/cartoonist/designer who lives in a big house with three of his childhood friends where they bake cup cakes, jump on beds and stay up real late reading comic books.

There was a whole lot of insane-o crazy, fun stuff at this weekend’s HotMovies Bash but a real stand out was the Peek-A-Boo Revue Burlesque team from right here in Philly. To help us celebrate the girls of the Peek-A-Boo performed an abridged version of their award winning, adult themed song and dance pastiche.

Anyone who missed it is a sorry sap and there’s nothing I can do about that. You lost the chance to see some of the sexiest ladies ever singing their hearts out in fishnets and corset. Then they sung without the corsets.

Luckily there are pictures. So, if you didn’t have the opportunity this weekend, meet the girls of the Peek-A-Boo Revue:

Lulu Lollipop

Lulu has been with the Peek-A-Boo Revue since 2000. She now directs, performs and costumes Philadelphia’s Premier Burlesque Show.

Lulu is a signature performer at many great events, including Chris Noth’‘s birthday party, Jennifer Tilley in “Bound over Broad Street” and Cirque du Soliel. None of this compares to her amazing talents as a snake charmer of course.

Check out the rest of the girls below the jump.

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Wasn’t expecting it for another week but FilmSchoolRejects dropped The Spirit trailer today. It’s another super hero movie but this one is real pulp, noir and (apparently) sexy. It’s about a cop who fakes his death to clean up New York City with nothing more than his brains and blue suit.

In addition to the masked crime fighter’s arch nemesis, The Octopus played by Sam Jackson, the cast is rounded out by some smoking celebrities. Ya see, The Spirit likes women. I mean he really likes women. James Bond has nothing on this guy. Check out the trailer if you don’t believe me. Everyone only says it like 50 times.

He’s got a lot of notches on the bed post, we get it. His most famous femme fatales, including Sand Saref, Ellen Dolan, Silken Floss, and Lorelei, are all going to be crammed into this big screen adaptation. It might be a lot to wrap your brain around since the blood will be mostly… elsewhere.

So, here’s your primer on The Spirit’s Super Sexy Sidekicks:

Eva Mendes plays Sand Saref, The Spirit’s old flame from before he was a famous super hero. After a series of unfortunate events (including the death of her boyfriend - A certain New York City cop), she leaves the City and turns to a life of crime.

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Just in time for his blockbuster, summer movie Batman’s comic book counterpart has discovered the truth about his parents: The Waynes were orgy loving heroin addicts.

A SCOTS writer will stun fans of Batman - by turning his parents into swingers.

In a new series of comics Grant Morrison portrays Bruce Wayne’s mother Martha as a heroin addict who went to orgies with his dad Thomas, a drunk.

In Batman: R.I.P, he also suggests family butler Alfred could be the Caped Crusader’s real father.

Source: Daily Mail

The Butler did it. Makes sense to me.

Other ret-cons currently raping your child hood after the jump.

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Hanging out with PopPorn.com at Club Risque this weekend, surrounded by porn stars and strippers, I thought “Damn, Philly didn’t used to be this cool.”

Adult entertainment blog PopPorn partnered up with TLAraw.com to present the “Party with Porn Stars” this past weekend. Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Ashlynn Brooke, Courtney Cummz, Alektra Blue and Jack Napier were on hand for the weekend, which was organized around three events throughout the city.

Friday night the HotMovies team and I found our way to Club Risque where the stars were featured dancers early in the evening. Afterwards they posed for pictures and hung out in the VIP lounge with the rest of Philadelphia’s Adult Industry and guests.

PopPorn critic and mascot Spock Buckton was asking for interviews from guests so we gladly joined him on the big comfy couch for some intimate time in front of the camera. It was just me and the ladies from the office so no one noticed I was there until the girls were done talking about how their jobs involve sex toy quality testing and someone asked me to sign a release form.

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Well, last night it was about necrophilia but that’s a loaded answer.

The 2nd Annual Dirtiest Sketch in Philly is a tacky, drunken journey into the underbelly of comedy. Where nothing is ‘too soon’ and there are no sacred cows. Philly sketch comedians enter into a filthy competition where the only real winner is bad taste.

Lots of live performance in the city, I stumble into some kind of side show vaudeville or sketch comedy thing at least once a week so I was pretty familiar with the foul mouths in competition. Defending champions Secret Pants along with Meg and Rob, The Sixth Borough, John Kensil, Doogie Horner, $5 cover and $1 PBR. That’s a formula for hilarity right there.

Host Don Montrey lets you know up front that just by being here you’ve agreed it’s OK to laugh at what comes next and it’s OK for everyone else to laugh and no one can get mad or offended or start a class action law suit. If you don’t like it get the fuck out now. Then he fed his shit to an audience member.

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I read the funny pages, I write web comics and I give lectures at comic conventions. So, I hope you’ll believe me when I say I’m something of a comic aficionado.

Now, there’s a whole sub genre of comics and cartoons that feature little Asian caricatures of white people making love to slimy, phallic, tentacles. It’s called Hentai and to the uninitiated the whole thing appears to be about squids, revenge and penetration. But frankly, those people are missing the point.

Tentacle rape is just one of many (un)common elements in Hentai. Japanese Cartoon Porn encompasses an entire range of sexual fetishes that don’t enjoy the same main stream exposure as tentacle rape.

Hentai allows for the healthy expression of sexual fantasies that might otherwise be impossible or unacceptable in reality:

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I made the jump to Facebook this week.

It was hard for me because I’ve always been a MySpace guy and I’m used to the interface and applications.

Anyways I’m glad I did because the group functions are way better and so are the topics.

Unintentional Porn is a Facebook group that makes it easy for people to upload photos of accidental upskirts and erotic fruit from our everyday lives.

Thank you, Social Media, for finding new ways to ruin my life.

-Johnny Zito

Carolina Jones and The Broken Covenant, the Indiana Jones porno-parody, is released this week just in time for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The film stars Ava Rose in the title role and Bree Olsen as her plucky side kick.

Z- Can you tell us about the movie?

Ava - It’s an Indiana Jones parody and it’s me, I’m Carolina Jones, and Bree Olsen she’s my sidekick, Dixie. At first I don’t want her to be my little side kick or whatever but I saved her from the clutches of Nikki Blond and from there we go have this adventure searching for the [broken] Covenant. We shot the whole thing in Budapest cause of all the old architecture. It’s set somewhere in the 1950’s.

Z- Do any notable Indiana Jones characters make appearances? Short Round? Elsa? Henry Jones (Sean Connery)?

Ava - Excuse me?

Z - Have you seen any of the Indiana Jones movies?

Ava - You know what? I’ve never seen them.

Z - You’ve never seen them?!?

Ava - Well I saw the first one. The first part of the first one. Where the boulder is rolling down after him. I guess just because it’s such a famous scene.

Z - Does archeology not do it for you? Or is Harrison Ford the problem?

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Lurking around Flickr today I found my way to another hidden treasure chest of bygone graphic design.

Reference Library’s Photostream is a collection of Vintage XXX Posters he’s found on eBay.

These posters provide an insight into the sex industry and the liberalization of society in the 1960s and 1970s. For the most part, they serve to amuse and excite.

Being a connoisseur of all things porno and graphic I couldn’t help but investigating into the history of the porno one sheet.

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